Who needs Mourinho, we’ve got the physio..

In the recent past Hull City have had more managers then Liz Taylor has had divorces.

Brucie walked before he ripped Ehaw a new arsehole, Phelan was a cheap option that was that far out of his depth he could have a cabin on the Titanic, Silva nearly saved us but realised he was been shafted (I bet he wishes Brucey had ripped Ehaw a new rectum) and he wouldn’t have a pot to piss in when it came transfers. How much of a state must our club be in if a decent manager with a creditable record think that Watford was a more stable option. Watford the club who fire managers more often than Alan Brazil gets pissed.

Then we had poor Leonid, the man who rumour has it has applied to be the entertainment manager at a Siberian salt mine because he wants a cushy job. He came in smiling like a Cheshire cat and left with a face like a sick puppy, due to been hung out to dry by our glorious supreme leaders.

So we’ve turned to the man with more soundbites then Nigel Farage and more clichés then Gwilym Lloyd. Smiley Nige has come in and brought his boundless enthusiasm and beaming smile (remember Leonid, folks) to try and rescue the sinking ship.

One of Nige’s favourite sayings has become “let’s control the controllables”. Well good luck with that one here mate. If he can get any sort of control of the Egyptian sausage eater then he could be onto a winner. Let’s be realistic though, he’s got more chance of controlling a kite in a hurricane then he has of stopping Ehaw stripping the cupboard in January if any offer comes in for the more saleable assets in the squad. He will have worked a minor miracle if Bowen and Grosicki are still in Black and Amber come February.

The physio turned manager has had peaks and troughs in his managerial career since he dumped the vaseline and cold sponge at Scunny to take over from Brian Laws. He managed to get the yellowbellys up and down and up again to the Championship, before his heroics at Southampton and getting them to the Premier League from League One, but he HAD the backing of an ambitious board who were willing to speculate to accumulate and throw money at it, because they knew what riches a lengthy period in the top division brings. Unfortunately for Nige when it didn’t go too well the Saints board’s arses started twitching and he was a goner.

Then he’s had a couple of big trough’s at Reading and Sheff Utd were maybe the weight of expectation and short shelf life contributed to his down falls there. The initial worry after the honeymoon period he will be afforded is will the owners who talk like they should be at the top table dining on fillet steak but only pay meat paste sandwich prices expect Nige to work a miracle.

I’ve stated in previous rants, that mid table mediocrity should be a happy outcome for this season because whoever is in charge and especially Slutsky who would’ve have had more chance counting the grains of sand on Brid beach then he ever had of turning this season into a success with all his tools either sold or not up to the job. If Nige can deliver that after the January window has come and gone then he will be seen in my eyes as a decent manager.

Hopefully Nige will be allowed to decide on his own transfer targets and not be dictated to by Allam & Darnbrough who on recent evidence couldn’t pick the winner in a one horse race. He will know by the time you read this if not already where he has to strengthen the squad, (we need defenders who can defend by the way Nige).

If he gets who HE wants we won’t be having local derbies with Scunny next season, thank god. (Not even Satan wants to go to Scunny) and we may, but I doubt it, have new owners who can see what potential we have and point us in an upward direction and united on all fronts.

One thing for sure is Nige will have had one Hull of a career with City if he can last as long at the club as our most famous physio, Jeff Radcliffe and his magic hat.


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