When does hero worshipping become stalking?

In my time of supporting City since the late 70’s, I like thousands of others of fans have been subject to some dark, dark days including the very darkest of times like the Lloyd lock out era and the abomination we are enduring under these deluded clowns at the moment, but I/we have always had heroes on the pitch. Here’s a few of mine.

We was shit when I first started on my Tigers journey of unrelenting disappointment with the odd bit of jubilation thrown in to keep the interest up.

Like nearly all kids my first City heroes were the glamour boys, the strikers and my first hero was the Cristiano Ronaldo of the lower leagues, Keith Edwards. He was a natural in front of goal. My 1st full season of actually supporting City and not just pissing the old fuckers in the ‘Well’ off was 78/79 and Edwards was banging them in for fun, 25 that year 20 the next and about 15 the year we was really shit and got relegated to the 4th division, and he was off to Sheff Utd.

As I got a bit older, I became a bit more of a slag and had more than one love at a time. In the early 80’s it was harder to declare my undying Tiger love to just one player. I was torn, we had the two Billy’s (Whitehurst & Askew) the mighty atom Garreth Roberts, flying Brian Marwood, towering Tony Norman in goal, in fact thinking back why was we that shit?

Of course I cannot forget the geordie wizard who ripped us a new arsehole in the FA Cup, he was so good in those three games, we signed him……Sir Les Mutrie, in my opinion one of the greatest signings for Hull City AFC in our entire history—28 goals in his first season was phenomenal and his partnership with our resident and the original psycho big Billy Whitehurst was the duo that an 11 year old (pre wank mags) had wet dreams about.

Marwood banged a few in & if only he’d got one more at Turf Moor that fateful night we’d have gone up and he might of stayed. I cried that night.

Edwards and Whitehurst came, went and came back again, in between we had a couple of local lads like the two Andy’s Flounders and Saville, there was Frankie (Bunn) who went to Hollywood via Boothferry Park and onto Oldham. Mid 80’s another Andy, this time Payton scored a few and then got sold because we were skint again.

Memorably and ultimately crushingly disappointing was the famous 1989 Liverpool 5th round FA cup game when Edwards and Whitehurst put us 2-1 up at the break but we couldn’t hold out, poignantly had we won that day Hillsborough may never have happened, another day that I cried because of football.

Into the 90’s and my heroes were becoming the same age as me. Deano burst onto the scene via North Ferriby and a few building sites on the first instalment of building his legendary status, until again we were really skint and he was gone, to be replaced by double D, Duane Darby, who will ever forget the Whitby FA Cup ties?

Even more scary for me after that era my next real hero was actually on the same school run as me, Stuart Elliott’s son and my son where in the same class at school and I secretly got a bit wobbly whenever we were stood chatting in the playground, it’s not cool to be a 30 year old fanboy unless you fancy Ann Widdicombe, which should be a custodial offence in anyone’s book.

Then he was back. Deano was back to lead us to the promised land, along with owners who have taken us to La La land. As a middle aged cynic I no longer have any individual City heroes, or worship for younger men, not because I’m not in love with the team anymore, mainly it’s because none of them are here long enough to gain the status of hero due to Ehab’s regular need for ready cash.

Hopefully though we might just have another hero in the side unless he’s sold in January or next summer. Jarrod is taking the right steps to becoming a City hero.

Undoubtedly I’ve forgotten some heroes along the way and some of my heroes will be villains to other fans but as they say opinions are like arseholes, we all have one and some emit shit from time to time.

One thing for sure though whoever manages to get rid of the clowns at the top will instantly become a hero to the vast majority of City fans………for a few months anyway.


*This article first appeared in Issue 21 of FanaticHull Football, City’s independent fanzine. New issue alert – out at the Ipswich game this weekend.

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