Dull FC must’ve got to Wembley again!! If you’ve stood on Holderness Road over the past few weeks and listened carefully you could hear the woodwork creaking louder then Terry Campese’s knees as the great unwashed emerged into the light for the first time since last August.
The ‘best’ fans in the world who travel in any kind of weather apparently (unless its raining or they lost last week) were all over social media or staggering down Hessle Road trying to find out where ‘their’ team actually play these days, so they could use their hard earned job seekers allowance to pinch (sorry I meant buy) a new shirt to prove to their undying love to Lee Raddersout and his bunch of pensioners, thieves and thick sods. Only three words to describe their squad of 35 but those words pretty much cover them all in some form or another and their fans as well!
I do think its great in fairness though that FC bring a new shirt out every three months because the club know that all the scum in West Hull don’t have running water or washing machines and after about three months the stench inside Allam stadium becomes that unbearable it has the power to melt faces, (Gareth Ellis can’t have been born that ugly).
The club should be commended for taking anything as payment as well, were else in Hull can you get a polyester shirt that comes with enough static electricity it can light a squat for a week? With an average of seven bastards per squat all decked out that’s enough electric to watch an Albert Kelly telly for a month.
So if we can be arsed to watch it we’ll see thousands of ‘loyal’ fans on the telly, the sprogs with sponge fingers up in the air, the pattie slappers getting any fingers shoved up somewhere and the entire West Hull ‘massive’ singing shit songs about a horse and throwing beer at each other.
The ones that stay at home will be doing a stock take for Albert Kelly telly’s probably from some poor soles living room, to sell at Walton Street car boot, because apparently instead of going to Wiverensea on holiday next year they are all going to visit relatives in Australia.
Humberside Police are rumoured to be paying for any Duller who wants to go because it will save them thousands in overtime payments in February. The Aussies aren’t happy though, a Government spokesmen recently said “You sent all your thieving, work shy bastards here 250 years ago and we’re not having anymore more” “Bugger off we’re shut”.
I don’t think Australia need worry though, the illiterate fuckers can’t read or spell and will end up in Austria. The ones that actually go that is.
The ones that say they went but in reality stay off twitter for a week then photoshop themselves into a picture of Rolf Harris and Skippy will recall the day they took over Woolly Bong to their grandkids in the visitors area of Hull nick.
Radford hasn’t been confirmed on the flight to Sydney yet though, after all they might lose at Wembley, get dry bummed at Old Trafford and be joining his army of ‘loyal’ fans in the Post Office queue before February. With this in mind Albert will be edging his bets and ‘acquiring’ as many bedsheets and marker pens between now and then, because as we all know the great unwashed love a good banner.